My afternoon sucked, how 'bout you?

My eyes prick *maybe I heard wrong*

The monotoned voice on the loudspeaker has just announced callbacks for the fall production. A long list of students is read aloud for the whole school to hear. Sam Doolittle, Alex Schaefer, some Freshman girl I don't know... I am a senior, and have never not gotten a role at my high school, yet for some funny reason, my name was not read.

I'll just check and see if there was a mistake. No mistake my name is not sitting where it belongs neatly wedged in black and white print between to of my comrades. No, instead my name has been left behind, unwanted. A penny that fell out of your pocket onto the street, too much effort to bend over and pick it up.

My tears choke me as I think of how... surprised?... I am. How sad? How embarrassed? I am a well known name in this school. I am also well known for my participation in drama and now- well, now what? They will all know I failed. Everyone will know I am a failure. It will be awkward, especially if anyone asks, which of course they will.

If it had been him I would have been cast, probably in a significant role too, but this woman has no clue. No sense of experience which is really what's most important, right. I am not delusional am I, please tell me I'm not delusional. She didn't even ask me what I've done before, which is a lot. To be frank, as far as experience at the high school I have been in more performances than anyone who auditioned, and those shows I did not perform in, I was still incredibly involved.

I just can not explain my sadness. I feel left out, and empty, and entirely helpless. What now?

(what now)