Stream of Consciousness

I am in a good place right now. I don't know whats going to happen to us. Tonight was fun with new friends. Tonight was awkward because of all of the crushing that wasn't published. That didn't make sense, except in my head. Today I went to the doctor, I have the "medicine" but I'm not taking it yet (and I don't know when I will...). Laura is texting me and I want to go to bed. I sometimes reveal information that I shouldn't about my personal life and I don't know why that is. My drama class would agree with that last statement, actually everyone would agree with that last statement. I hate keeping secrets but I try really hard to do it anyways. Sometimes I pretend I like people, and sometimes I fail at it. When I have a lot to say I babble (like this). I want to know if I got into Smith. Then again, I want to know if I got into college, period. I want to already know my plan like some of my peers. I hate feeling out of control. I hate not knowing if he's going to leave me behind. I hate thinking that it might not be a bad idea. Sad but true: I love to feel smarter than my peers (it doesn't happen very often) My toes are cold. I should be in bed right now because I have to work with sixth graders in the morning. Sometimes I let my religion define my life and I'm not sure I'm okay with that. I've never had a Christmas tree. I love you. Bye