Mind Swell

I want to be ecstatic. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends. Sarah who is always my pillar, Laura and Sam who have been here for me through good times and bad, and of course the solid four new people in my life who make me feel at home- Jessie, Curtis, Amber, and Sasha. I do feel blessed to have them all, really I do, especially having just come home from the most amazing camping trip I've ever had.

Still, I can't help but doubt myself, and dwell on the past a little. I should not. I know this. I feel that my whole being is constantly being torn and I am chock full of self doubt. But I have to know- did I do something wrong?

When you've been forgotten or ignored by people you thought had cared, when someone you loved erases you from their life wiping out all evidence that you'd been a pair, when you feel so far away from so many- what did you do?

I just want answers, but I am too afraid to ask.